letting go off of the baggage

I do not want to go to school today: swollen eyes & groggy that was the first thought that flashed through my head that morning: the memories of last night made me regret waking up, regret the new morning, regret ever having a brother: the only way he could prolong his 8 years of existence was if he didn't come in front of me. Not this morning.

Deep in my mind and deeper in my heart I blamed him for most of the trouble I got into with my parents. And last night he had crossed all limits.

Mom had confiscated my library book which would mean standing outside class for 40 min and the teacher would in turn confiscate my girdle for one whole week. He had also told mom about my conversation with a friend about the swimming coach (a conversation he had eavesdropped on). As a result of which my mum feared some strange relationship between me (a 12 year old) and my coach (a 40 year old) and had decided that I would not be allowed to join the swimming team.

Sick, sick, sick.

Secretly I had no issues been seen as a trouble maker in school and mom knew my troublesome ways better than anyone else but how could he betray me?

Cut to the more immediate issue of the present, I found myself doing something I shouldn’t have at all: sneaking my mum's keys from under her pillow to get my library book back. and even more sneakily packing my swimming gear.

Tip toeing back- I saw my bro look at me and smile. That was it - I could have simple rewound my moves- replaced the book and unpacked my swimming gear- but that was only in my mind. I knew I was in big trouble. I could see myself do several things to my him: lock him in the bathroom, sling my Milton bottle on his head and make it bleed, punch him on his face, tie his shoelaces to make him trip - but that was all in my head.

As I stood frozen, he smiled, passed me and said, "pending"

I did go to school, I did have a great swimming class, did return my library book, did come back home very happy and did play with my kid bro.

Just like any other day.